The story of a group of imbiciles
by gabiola652
Summary: Follow Gab, Icy, Gold, Ace and Unknown in their daily struggles. Watch the hilarity ensue. IcyGold because its funny. rated M for really bad language and content. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Gab: Welcome to something new.

Captain: Hellr!

Gold: Why are we doing this again?

Gab: Because we are!

Icy: Who's idea was it to make this?

Gab: Mine.

Icy…I will pound you for this later.

Gab: Shouldn't it be the other way around?

BLTS: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Gold: AIRHORNS

Captain: MOM! GET THE CAMERA!

Icy: Come here you son of a bitch!

The story of a group of imbiciles

Chapter 1: UNKNOWN DAMNIT!

Created by Gabiola652

Others authors helping in the creation of this story: (somewhat) Gold the Fox, (Not really) icyangels, (better than gold) Baconlettucetomatosweg and (pretty much the co-creator) CaptainAwsum9999-AdSpace-sama!

Here we go!

"Alright from the top now Unknown, why the fuck are you taped to the wall, upside-down?" asked an impatient white pony.

"Because I'm just that great!" the upside-down human responded with glee.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?" yelled a really mad hedgehog from up the stairs. She had been waiting for Gab to get milk because she was too damn lazy to get it herself.

"Well Icy, Unknown is in a sticky situation..." Gab responds slowly.

"AND UPSIDE-DOWN!" yelled Unknown from position.

Gab closed his eyes and sighed, being the smartest one here sucked. Then again he was stupid too, so being the smartest wasn't saying much.

Suddenly a huge weight fell on Gab. He opened his eyes to see a pony twice his size with wings on top of him and although he couldn't see it, he knew that the pony was an alicorn. Why did he know? BECAUSE HE HAD THE HORN STUCK UP HIS ASS! THAT'S WHY!

"Get off me you retard." Gab said in an angered tone.

"Calm your hard ass down man," responded the huge pony as it got up, dragging the body of the other pony.

A very girly scream could be heard from miles around.

Icy starts running down the stairs. Not far behind her was Gold, who was watching TV. What was he watching? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, I JUST GOT RAPED! They arrive and see Gab in a ball crying on the floor. Icy gets next to him and looks at him in the eyes. "What happened here?"

"I've never felt so violated in my life. Not even when I got my rectal exam." Gab said between sobs.

"Hey Gab?" Gold started.

"What?" Gab responded.

"Want the pain in your ass to go away?"

"Yes please"

Gold starts to kick him in the stomach, making Gab doubling over in pain. "GOLD! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?" an angered Icy asked.

"His stomach is now in pain. Not his ass." Gold turned around to see… himself? He looked in Icy's direction, but all he found was a 3 tailed light blue arctic fox. The being on the ground sobbing was him too! He looked over at Unknown with a glare; well actually he glared himself… but anyway.

"UNKNOWN DAMNIT!"

§§§§§ A few hours later §§§§§

"And that's the story of how I got raped." Gab finished telling his story.

"I'm surprised your not still in pain." Answered a bacon strip.

"The author wasn't fond of his character being in pain for too long." Unknown said from his location on the ceiling.

"The Who?" Gold said joining into the conversation.

"The person I know, which you don't know, yet you should know." Unknown answered.

"Say thanks to him next time you see him." Gab took a moment to look at his ass. "Tell him its really appreciated."

"Ok. THANKS GAB! GAB REALLY APPRICIATES THE FACT THAT YOU MADE HIM NOT HURT ANYMORE!"

Gold, Gab and the bacon strip looked at Unknown who had landed on the floor with the dumbest grin on his face. Gold rolled his eyes, Gab was confuzzled and Bacon was getting eaten. Wait a minute, that's the screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" screamed the half eaten piece of bacon. "I'M BEING EATEN ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

"UNKNOWN DAMNIT!" Gab and Gold said in union.

§§§§§ One trip to the hospital later §§§§§

"And that's the story of how I got raped."

"…" Icy was speechless. She got up and walked towards the front door. "Why do I even care? This happens on a daily basis. Seriously, this happened yesterday and it's going to happen again tomorrow."

"So what are you going to do drama queen?"

"You know what, I don't even care. I don't care that I only have to pay 100$ a month to live in this place. I don't care that you people are my only friends. I don't even care about the godlike size of Gold's dong." She opened the door. "I'M OUTTA HERE!" she walked out the door and slammed it. Then she appeared on the back porch and slammed in the glass sliding door. She walked into the house from the back sliding door. She went down the stairs and to her room while rubbing her nose.

"I heard screaming, what's going on?" Gold said as he came out of the bathroom after his 7pm shit.

"You need more than just your size man, skill would help too." The bacon strip said as it got up from its chair and walked towards the refrigerator.

Completely confused, Gold looked towards Bacon with a perplexed look. "Heh?"

"Exactly." Bacon opened the fridge door and jumped in, letting it close behind him, he went to bed.

A long moment of awkward silence filled the room. Then an armadillo Appeared on the floor and looked up at Gold. Gold looked back down at the creature.

"What's new Armored-Dildo?"

"I told her that you would not be good enough. I told her that you were inexperienced and foolish. But nooooope, she had to pick the dude with the smallest dong in Brookline. Not the person who's acrobatic and can make you go in a few, nor the person with the shape shifting abilities. Nope, the person that can shoot pulses of light out of his hands for no reason is the person she chooses." Unknown said as he shape shifted into his human form.

"You suck, you know that?"

"Nuh huh. She sucks."

An airhorn blew up in Gold's face. As he got back to his senses, he saw Gab and Unknown on the ground laughing.

"UNKNOWN DAMNIT!"

§§§§§ End of chapter 1 §§§§§

Gab: so, what did you think about it?

BLTS: Did ya like it? Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?

Gold: I didn't.

Icy: neither did I.

Gab: you should review anyway. And go check out the other 4 amazing authors.

Captain: hey gab?

Gab: ya?

Captain: what if Gold and Icy were actually dating.

Gold and Icy: UNKNOWN DAMNIT!

AN: So I've started something new. The poll was unanswered and it's still up there. Six will be updated soon enough. I just didn't really have the time. Sorry. Maybe I could even update Loss of a Friend before the end of January! I can at least try! BAI!

Want your OC in this story as a guest for a chapter? Add him in your review for a chance to see him in an incoming chapter!

Disclaimer: Gabiola652 owns the story and Gabolia. Gold is owned by Gold. Icy is owned by Icy. Bacon owns Bacon. Captain owns unknown. Gabiola652 is sponsored by CoolCoolier. Head over to /Home to find out more. Find CoolCoolier on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This story is M rated for a reason. This story contains sexual references, mild language, mild racism and pure stupidity. Reader's discretion is advised.

Gab: We're back!

Captain: Get ready for your mind to be blown.

Gab: We have a new writer joining us as well. Everyone say hi to KirbySage18!

Kirby: Yo, what up dawgs?

BLTS: His OC (Ace) will join the insanity.

…

Icy: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAB!

Gab: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Captain: Oh this is not going to end well…

Chapter 2: Based on a True Story of a HOE!

"Alright, we all ready to go?" Gold asked.

"Yup" Unknown and Gab answered simultaneously.

"So we aren't forgetting anything like last Thursday?"

"Don't sweat Gold, I got the flamethrowers packed up." Unknown said casually.

"Alright we are set then. ICY WE'RE LEAVING." Gab screamed at the top of his lungs.

"OK!" she yelled back from downstairs.

"Don't burn the house down, that's my job." Unknown called as he walked out the door, followed by Gold and Gab. Gab got in the drivers side, Gold in the passenger and Unknown on the roof. Starting his shitty Celica up, Gab backed out of the driveway and put the pedal to the metal as he went south.

"I love that the boys came up with a thing like that. Flamethrower fight Thursdays. It gives me the opportunity to surf the web privately." Icy whispered to herself.

She was going to read some Fanfiction, when an email popped up. She opened it to see it contained her favorite author's new story notification. Impatiently, she clicked the link to read the masterpiece.

§§§§§ 10 minutes later §§§§§

"And then Gold said to Icy 'Kick my engines into overdrive.' Which she did flawlessly as the sound resistant windows and walls were about to fail." Icy was reading to herself out loud. At first she was reading with a smile over her face and a little glee, now though, she was ready to go on a rampage and kill the bastard that wrote the story, and she knew just whom it was. Only, knowing whom it was made her even madder. So mad the a fire started on the top of her head, which made her curtains catch fire, and the walls, and soon she was inside a blazing inferno not giving a shit about anything else. The house was breaking down around her and she just stood there, mad.

§§§§§ A few hours later §§§§§

Gab was driving back from the field where he, Gold and Unknown did their Thursday ritual of the flamethrower fight. Gab was listening to the very loud music, but Gold was freaking out because Gab was doing 71 in a 40 zone. He was passing cars and went in front of oncoming traffic. To him this was normal; Gold could never take his normal.

Unknown was having fun on the roof. Putting his hands in the air and screaming like a maniac. It was the only reason why he only liked it when Gab drove. He knew how to have a good time, and a good accident. (Another chapter)

Nearing home, Unknown saw the smoke. He then somehow became a pirate with a pirate voice because that's how Unknown does it. He took out a pair of binoculars and then went to the driver side of the car and tapped the window lightly. The window opened.

"SMOKE AHO!" Unknown yelled.

"Smoke a what?" Gab answered unsurely.

"No you dumbass, A SMOKEY HOE!" Unknown said pointing to Icy who was completely singed and black. The police were everywhere and the house now stood less than 1 meter high. There was still little fires here and there, thus, Unknown jumped off the roof, took his flamethrower and tried to take out the flames using it. This caused the entire house to explode for some reason.

"I tried, but the theory of firepower overwhelmed my logic." He said returning back into his human form and he looked at the ground. "Ooh, smoked Bacon!" he picked up the strip and ate it.

"Unknown! That was Bacon!" Gold yelled.

"He was already dead." Unknown cried. "What do I care?"

Meanwhile, the police were handcuffing Icy. Gab was trying to understand the situation, but all he heard was the yelling of the word HOE.

"What do you mean your bringing her to the station?" Gab yelled.

"She is under arrest for destruction of property." He pointed at the mailbox near the driveway, in front of the house a few inches away from the sidewalk. It was dented a little. As if someone had punched it.

"So what's going to happen to her?"

"Depending on how the jury looks at it, and how well her lawyer can argue… she may pass between 2 to 10."

"WEEKS?!"

"Years" and with that, the officer mounted his horse and rode away.

§§§§§ A few minutes later §§§§§

"Ok, we're here. This is where they're keeping Icy… and Ace." Gab said

"Ace?" Gold and Unknown asked questionably.

"Remember 4 months ago when you showed Gold a joint and he smoked it and he got arrested for being in possession of an illegal substance? Well Ace was the guy he was with at the time." Gab answered to Unknown, totally ignoring Gold.

"Ohhhhh, the druggie. He was fun. I forgot about him because Gold slapped me in the back of the head when we broke him out but not Ace."

"So how are going to do this?" Gold asked.

"Well, I called our getaway vehicles. They are on their way. All we need is a distraction." Gab said.

"ON IT!" Unknown said as he got in position.

"Who did you call?" Gold whispered to Gab

"A few buds from back at home. You might remember them from that party when you got arrested." Gab whispered back.

"You don't mean…" Gold said with a surprised look.

"Yup." Gab nodded with a small grin on his face.

"Nice." Gold agreed as he copied Gab's smile.

§§§§§ Police entrance §§§§§

"So Jim? How's your doughnut?"

"I like it a lot. Thanks for getting my favorite."

"I know what you like."

"Right back at you John."

Suddenly a huge explosion engulfed the room. It was as if the whole front office was blown up, but both police were fine and knocked out.

§§§§§ Back with our protagonists' §§§§§

"Nice shot Unknown." Gab cheered

"Don't thank me. Thank Yubel." He responded with glee.

"Who's Yubel?" Gold asked.

"The demon that lives inside of my head." Unknown answered casually.

"… Great." Gab and Gold said in union.

"Now, the coast is clear! Gab took a walky-talky out of nowhere. "Time to execute plan Alpha-Beta-Pi! NOW!" he put it back god knows where and he pointed to the mountain behind them. Gold and Unknown saw a rainbow going straight for them, kinda slowly though. They saw 5 figures on them. Gold gasped and Unknown was flabbergasted.

PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS, DANCING ON RAINBOWS! PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS, DANCING ON RAINBOWS! PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS, DANCING ON RAINBOWS!

The 5 unicorns dancing on rainbows were now standing in front of them. Gab hoped on the one in front. Unknown hoped on the one in the back, and Gold on the one behind Gab.

"Ya, you'll never be alone, never be alone, never be alone. No you'll never be alone, be alone, be alone." Gold whispered in the unicorn's ear. She smiled.

"Gold, your not TheFatRat, so shut up." Unknown said in a serious voice from ways aback.

"CHARGE!" The three yelled and the unicorns started to dance towards the station.

§§§§§ With Icy §§§§§

"How has the hub been without yer boi - me – in behind this cage?"

"Well, Gab has been kinda bossy lately. He pretty much does what he wants. He's like Unknown but o much less tolerable."

"I feel ya brah. If I were to be in dat ol' house, he'd be a straight nigga, like me.

"Yup definitely."

An awkward silence filled the room. Until Icy heard something.

"You hear that?"

"I hear everything brah."

"No, seriously listen."

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbow.

Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS!

"HO SHIT DAWG, RUN NIGGANIGGANIGGA!" Ace randomly yelled as he backed up into his cell. "ADRIFT BITCH!"

The walls blew down like Icy once a week. … (Sorry I died writing this part.) The unicorns dancing on rainbows barged in and somehow, only Icy' and Ace's cell were banged up and not any other.

"Whoa, did dat nigga cop put cocaine in my OJ again?" Ace asked to himself.

"HOP ON! ALL A BOARD THE PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS EXPRESS ROUTE OUT OF THE SLAM!" Unknown yelled.

Icy walked out of her cell. She smiled at Gab, she pecked his cheek. "Thanks for saving me." Then she punched him in the face, hard. "WHAT IS THIS? I NEVER GAVE PERMISSION FOR THIS THING TO HAPPEN YOU HOE!" She was going to sit on the unicorn behind Gold, but he got up and offered his to her, she took it and Gold got in his usual spot. Behind her. Ace also got on his unicorn between Gold and Unknown.

"You're all mine tonight babe. Tu est mon étoile filante." He whispered to the being as he hugged it and fell fast asleep.

The Unicorns destroyed the other wall opposite of where they came in. and slowly the where high in the sky. Heading towards the sunset.

§§§§§

Gab: Before you all kill me… Kirby, I'm sorry for being a racist, stereotypical asshole. Gold, your with Icy deal with it. Icy, do what you were made to do, take it. And Captain, I hoped you enjoyed what you just read.

Captain: Enjoyed it? I loved it!

BLTS: What about me?

Captain: what about you? You were eaten, no one cares about you.

BLTS:

Gab: anyways, review. And if you want a chance to have your OC in the story, add him/her to your review and how we will use it.

Kirby: Thanks for coming out everyone.

Disclaimer: Gabiola652 owns the story and Gabolia. Gold is owned by Gold. Icy is owned by Icy. Bacon owns Bacon. Captain owns unknown. Kirbysage18 owns Ace. Gabiola652 is sponsored by CoolCoolier. Head over to /Home to find out more. Find CoolCoolier on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.


	3. Gabolia Arc I

Gab: Hi all!

Cap: Um Gab?

Gab: (hesitant) Yes?

Cap: why the heck are we not in this?

Gold: I second that.

Kirby: I third it.

Gab: let me tell you all why. This chapter is so bad and silly; I know how you guys don't have the same humor as I do. So I went and got another gang together to replace you.

Cap: WHAT!?

Gab: I'm kidding calm down. These 3 other guys are my buds who help me out figuring what to do next usually. They help me a lot without writing.

Gold: You can't do this, not to Captain of all people.

Cap: I feel like your doing this on purpose because you had nothing better to do.

Gab: your pretty right. But like I said, you don't like my humor, so these Gabolia Arcs are meant for those insane chapters, which you guys won't appear in.

…

Cap: Gab?

Gab: yes?

Cap: Unknown has something to say.

Gab: what is it?

Unknown: ALLAHU AKBAR!

BOOOOOOOM!

Chapter 3: Gabolia Arc I

AN: I am very sorry to everyone who is going to read this, I needed something out so I did and I guess this might as well be the funniest of chapters for those who like every kind of joke (racist, sexist…etc.). What I am saying I guess is if you don't like these kinds of jokes, then you wont like this chapter. So I hope you are all ready. Unplug your rational mind, and let the wild one out, enjoy!

Gab: oh wait, I forgot. Here are my 3 companions that will help me write the Gabolia Arcs. Say hi everyone!

S.H.: Yo, I'm Seahawksispro. My OC is Cedi.

Keith: I'm BitchenKeith. My OC is Shawn.

Flare: And I'm Flare524. My OC is, well, Flare.

Gab: All right! Now that you guys have been introduced, lets get into this!

Keith: ALLAHU AKBAR

BOOOOOOOOOM!

Shawn was on the other side of a glass pane window with a telephone in his hand. On the other side was Gab who also had a phone in his hand. Cedi and Flare were behind Gab. They came with him to talk to Shawn after hearing that he was sent in jail. Gab was trying to get the story out of him.

"Its not my fault your in the Slam, so please tell me how you got here." A very persistent blue, read and white haired human asked the Bieber looking human on the other side.

"Okay… Okay, I'll tell you." He shifted in his chair. "But I'm going to give the message to you, my way."

"I'm just here to know why you're in prison."

"Well here goes." Shawn cleared his throat and started to sing his song.

"She was lickin' my nuts, eatin' my skeet, now I'm locked up, beatin' my meat, open my eyes, yeah, she was only seventeen.

"We was sippin' on yak, she takin' her clothes off, now someone black's, tellin' me to bend, over I realize, yeah, she was only seventeen.

"My life is a story of trials and jailbait. Why do I have a bisexual cellmate? I told some hoe to get naked. Now I'm in jail, and I'm gettin' butt raped, and

"Shoulda told her to show me some ID. Before I know it, she was suckin' on my "D". In prison, I can't get into a gang, so I'm gettin' gang raped by Mexicans.

"I fucked up my life, her butthole was tight, but not worth doin' time, 'cause now I'm gettin' boned in mine!"

By then, Cedi and Flare had disgusted faces plastered on, but sadly, Gab was dancing to the beat that some random DJ was playing (who popped out of nowhere.).

"I was up in her butt, slappin' them cheeks, now I'm gettin' love from a guy named Jesus, open my eyes, yeah, she was only seventeen.

"She was lickin' my dick, givin' me blowjobs, now I'm gettin' sex, when I'm droppin' the soap, and I realize, yeah, she was only seventeen.

"When I was gettin' laid, her age was of no concern. Now I'm gettin' AIDS, them gays are takin' turns. And I just wish them homies would stop rapin' my cornhole, come on ya'll go play basketball.

"How could I have ever known that the hoe is underage? I just wanted her to give me and my friends a couple handjobs."

"We never got any of those." Cedi stated.

"My real friends silly!" Shawn answered, taking a small break before continuing.

"Yeah, I was all up in her muff! I guess grass on the field isn't enough.

"I got a Jewish lawyer when I went to court. But my judge knew exactly who I was." 

"And since when should a woman be allowed to be a judge?" Gab sang to the beat or something, and then added, "They're all dumb." 

"From the top now!"

Gab was joining in with Shawn, singing as a duo. (Gab is background singer at this point. "" "" Means Gab and Shawn together.) Flare and Cedi were even more disgusted.

"She was lickin' my nuts,"

"Nuts." 

"Eatin' my skeet,"

"Skeet."

"Now I'm locked up,"

"Up." 

"Beatin' my meat,"

"Meat."

"Open my eyes,"

"Yeah!" 

""She was only seventeen""

"We was sippin' on yak,"

"Yak."

""She takin' her clothes off.""

"Now someone blacks,"

""Tellin' me to bend over.""

"I realize,"

"Yeah." 

""She was only seventeen!""

(Gab takes lead as song slows)

"If you ever got a hoe to take her pants off, and then the cops takin' you away in handcuffs, and Chris Hansen's sayin' "Why don't you have a seat here with me?""

"Ninja please"

"I shoulda never old a hoe to take her pants off, I shoulda never nutted up inside her asshole, because the sperm in her butt was evidence against meeeeee." 

"She told me she was forty three."

"From the top now!"

Cedi, Flare and Gab all sang together with Shawn now.

"She was lickin' my nuts, nuts. Eatin' my skeet, skeet. Now I'm locked up, up. Beatin' my meat, meat. Open my eyes, yeah! She was only seventeen!"

The Security guards joined in on the 4.

"We was sippin' on yak, yak. She takin' her clothes off. Now someone blacks. Tellin' me to bend over. I realize, yeah! She was only seventeen!"

Even the warden joined in.

"I was up in her butt, butt. Slappin' them cheeks, cheeks. Now I'm gettin' love from a guy named Jesus. Open my eyes, yeah! She was only seventeen!"

At this point, the entire prison sang along with Shawn's song.

"She was lickin' my dick, dick. Givin' me blowjobs! Now I'm gettin' sex, when I'm droppin' the soap, and I realize, yeah! She was only seventeen!"

As the prison quieted down again, the warden – teary eyed – went next to Shawn, put a hand on his shoulder and said. "You are free to go."

Shawn looked up at the warden and smiled at him. " Thank you sir warden."

And that is how Shawn got a criminal record back in 1997. Back when his girlfriend was underage when he wasn't. But that isn't where the story ends.

§§§§§ 5 Minutes later §§§§§

"YOU READY BOYS?" Shawn yelled in his walkie-talkie.

"YEAH!" The 3 others answered in union.

"ALRIGHT THEN! HERE WE GO!"

Their plane was about to crash into the prison when all 4 jumped out with parachutes and shouted, " ALLAHU AKBAR!"

The prison no longer was there.

§§§§§

Gab: (:

Keith: ALLAHU AKBAR

Cedi: I'm glad we got to write with you Gab. This was so much fun.

Gab: I know, its just so sad I cant do this more often.

Flare: Why?

Gab: Cause I got the rest of the original group that does this with me. You guys might come in from time to time when Keith goes nuts on his racist/sexist/awesome songs and games like this week.

3 others: awwwww.

Gab: You guys did great! Now, I want to thank BitchenKeith for showing me the ALLAHU AKBAR vines and the song "Only 17" by Ruka Ruka Ali. My fav vine is the toy story, what's yours? Write it in your review!

All 4: BAI!

Keith: ALLAHU AKBAR!

BOOOOOOOOM!


End file.
